Your piece, Lessons of a Proper Beach Bum, was visual, charming, and clear. I thoroughly enjoyed being there with you growing up. Being a lover of the coast and ocean all my life, I found myself envious of your beachfront upbringing. I wanted to be that little tomboy, speeding around on her bike and arriving sandy and salty for supper. You write in a style that evokes all the senses: I could smell the Coppertone, feel the burn of the sun, and hear the waves’ constant lapping.
Your technique of using comparisons throughout of the casual freedom of life at the coast with the rules and regulations of a proper Southern upbringing was an effective way to the give the reader, no matter where she or he hailed from, a clear picture of the place, the era, and your family’s traditions.
I loved the opening paragraph. The “I learned” repetition followed well with your title word “lessons.” Jumping right in with “I learned to drive a boat before I learned to drive a car” immediately set the scene. I instantly raised my eyebrows and thought, “Oh no! Kid in a boat – look out!” You used humor to reveal your family’s laid-back but traditional style: children under the dining room table during a festive hurricane party and the Coast Guard ringing up your parents despite your pleas. I couldn’t help but smile.
The example of the expected love and respect for the sea plus the (sometimes) rigors of Southern etiquette using the memory of your grandmother’s stories was evocative and lovely. A sense of your family’s deep roots was shown clearly in that paragraph and illustrated well by the tour through the photo albums. It was in the photo album paragraph that I got a little distracted by the use of the future tense, for instance, “My grandfather will be holding…” or “My mother will be setting…” A reworking of that paragraph eliminating the future tense and creating a “live” memory using the present tense might be a revision to consider.
In the wrap-up in your last paragraph, I felt myself wanting a little more clarity and color than provided by words and phrases like “to a certain extent” “moments” “adventures” or “history.” Your word choices had been richer in the preceding paragraphs, and your ending deserves the same interesting visual quality.
Small things: Coast Guard is two words, Hemingway has one ‘m,’ and in the last sentence I would use commas (oh, commas!) to encourage the natural pause: “And, in the end, being there with my family made the person.”
All in all, a terrific piece — and please pass the ham biscuits!
the rambler 